Things I Have Accepted to Be Okay

Entering my 20’s has not been all sunshine and rainbows but, it has been eye-opening to the living, experiencing and growing into the person I am today.

Since turning 21, it feels like I have been beating myself up over the smallest, simple things that I am “supposed” to have figured out or have in place before and entering my twenties but, that’s not the case. I’m here to assure you that after only experiencing my twenties for almost two years, here are some things that I have accepted to be okay:

1. Not feeling as smart or experienced as others in my life.

Is this imposter syndrome or am I just dumb? It’s neither.

I used to sit in classes, talk to other peers and friends and always leave the conversation feeling like, ‘I am not doing enough’ or ‘I am behind.’ I hear about all of the travels, the studying, the opportunities and the life that people have been living while I have never traveled out of the country before, only lived in North Carolina, and the furthest away from home I have been is Niagara Falls.

That is okay.

I am young. I still have a life to live because I’m still only twenty-two years old. I still am working on my bachelor’s degree and starting graduate school, I am working to save my money up for travels, and I am meeting a lot of people to help grow and develop myself as a person. I will, soon, have my time to travel, speak about my education and academics, and become the fullest form of myself because I am still young. I am still living. I am still experiencing. I am still learning.

2. Not reading enough books compared to others.

I have my bookstagram (which, you should go follow @littleleafreadsandwrites) where I post content related to my books, reading, interest, hobbies, and my blog. I love running that account and seeing what other people are reading, writing, advice, and being a part of a wonderful community. However, I get this lingering feeling after being on my account — I do not read enough.

Let me make this clear: reading should be fun, completed at it’s own pace, and not rushed.

"The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath.

I see so many other bookstagramer’s talk about the same issue of how it feels as if they are not reading or have not read as much. That is okay.

I started my reading journey about five years ago, therefore, I have not read as many books as other people that I know in my life. I also am a full-time student who works, studies, and an active member in clubs. So, it can be hard to have some spare time to read. That is okay! I still make time to read my current books and continue to do so when I can.

3. Being a writer doesn’t mean you have to write novels upon novels.

When I tell people that I am a writer, the first question they tend to ask me is: When is your book coming out?

While I am working on a book, it doesn’t define me as a writer. I am a writer of short stories, journalism, personal writing (journaling), and blog posts. That is the writer that I am and that is okay.

There is a stigmatism around writers to spend hours a day, all of our time, and all of our energy dedicated to writing but, that is not the true reality of being a writer. I spend a lot of my time between work, school and studying.

4. Feeling broke or never having any money saved up.

You are either traveling, working, or studying in your early twenties. However, I am studying and working but it always feels as if I have no money or not enough money saved up compared to others who are the same age as me.

THAT IS OKAY.

I get too easily caught up in the amount of money that I have which leads me to overworking myself in the long run. I am not supposed to have tons and tons of money saved up in my early twenties, especially when my focus is on school. I work to make enough money to support myself.

5. Graduate school is still as much learning at Undergrad school.

This semester I have taken on three graduate level courses and one undergraduate course. I am on track to graduate this Fall with my bachelors and start graduate school in Spring 2025.

After sitting in the graduate level classrooms, I noticed how quickly the students around me are highly passionate and intelligent about their areas of study. It made me feel a little bit behind on my studies, almost as if I had not done enough in the past.

After understanding that most of my academic life has either dually enrolled, I hadn’t been able to experience the time to invest into my interests and study them. And, that is okay. I have become more of devoted writer, writing for The Seahawk, and putting forth efforts in other areas of school.

I still have plenty of room and opportunity to grow throughout out my academics. I still ask all the questions in the world, write all the cool interesting facts down, and absorb anything and everything that I can. Life is one big giant learning space. It doesn’t stop when I leave school.

6. Time to start living your life and not others.

I have spent so much of my life living in what felt to be the life that other people want but never what I wanted. Up until recently, I realized quickly how miserable I was. I never felt fulfilled in anything that I did till I made the choice that my life is mine and I have one, single, solo shot at it.

7. Building habits and routines are life savers.

I used to just wake up, go long with my day, and feel completely and absolutely exhausted, overwhelmed, confused, and jumbled by the time the day was done. I started to create habits and routines for myself and quickly realized how much better I felt. I started keep a planner, notes, wake up and sleep times, journaling, etc.

I used to think the idea of having habits and routines were for people who had their life figured out. I always thought it was supposed to feel chaotic but, that’s not even remote to true. Maybe I was too stubborn or maybe I just didn’t know what I needed.

Seriously, do you feel that life is so unbearable because of so many things going on? Create a routine. Create a habit. It helps.

8. Simply taking care of yourself.

I would neglect myself, my well-being, and overall everything for others, school, work, etc. I learned quickly that that specific route was going to get me no where but to a miserable outcome. Once I started taking care of myself, life changed.

I have to remind myself that it is okay to be selfish to yourself, your time, and your energy.

I became too worked up around the idea that I needed to give all my time to others and what’s around me in order to see progress but, I never looked internally to see my personal progress.

It’s hard being in your 20’s. I get it. I still have another eight years before I start struggling through my 30’s. I have learned so many lessons just within the first two years of my 20’s that looking back, I was too hard on myself. I am stilling enjoying life, living and doing the best that I can. I have amazing people that surround me, amazing opportunities, and very fortunate to be where I am today.

I am accepting these things to be okay. Who knows, life could completely change for me and I will be writing another article “Things that are NOT okay in your 20’s.” Besides the point, if you’re my age right now, life is though. Life is hard. Life is confusing but life is good. Life is beautiful. Growing is amazing. Learning is joyous.